![]() ![]() Here’s some footage of Danny Ainge in his pre-draft interview with Jaylen: ![]() In 2016, the Celtics were torn between drafting Brown with their third pick, or ironically, Jamal Murray, one of the flashiest and most unique scorers we’ve seen. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, when Senator Palpatine wanted to generate an army of perfect soldiers to do his bidding in a universal coup, he cloned Jaylen Brown millions of times. In this case, player X is an evolutionary Rashard Lewis, and the Celtics are attempting to generate an ocean of interchangeable, multi faceted wings in his image. 5 of player Y, who would win? The Celtics are embarking on a project to discover the answer to that question. There’s an old NBA bar argument used to evaluate greatness that goes something like: if you had 5 of player X vs. The difference is in how Danny Ainge and Brad Stevens have elected to utilize their wildly overqualified floor stretcher. ![]() The point being, if you don’t enjoy watching Jaylen Brown play, the problem is you, and your loss of capacity for wonder. That being said, if I were to go back to the late 90s and tell Charlie Ward I was about to pair him with a 6’7 wing who could guard five positions, playmake, shoot close to 40% from 3, and do it all stoically off ball, his eyes would pop out of his head. Throughout the 90’s, he wrote a series of sketches for Saturday Night Live. Jaylen Brown’s favorite comedian is Joe Pera. A “Jaylen Brown Type Beat” would be a ticking metronome. But neither of these players, the electrifying Harden, or the deceptively boring, but personally colorful Mook, can compare to the banality of Jaylen Brown. My guy Mook Morris, for example, is really just Kenyon Martin with range, but no one would ever call him boring because he does random shit like bonk defenders on the head with the ball, and try to casually rupture the future of the league’s achilles tendon. People never call Jaylen Brown boring, because people outside of Boston rarely think about Jaylen Brown at all. His bizarre, twitchy, physically preposterous style is anything but, even as it adheres to a variable formula. People call James Harden boring because he’s a lightning rod. Or, the most boring player in the history of professional basketball, my point guard of 10 years, Charlie Ward, whose idea of bringing the ball up and distributing had more in common with a conveyor belt than a human being capable of performing creativity with a ball and making decisions. There were proto roll men like Oliver Miller, who finished repetitively with their size. When I was a kid, being a “Boring Basketball Player” had a few different iterations. But I kind of see what Wallace was aiming for, because the same potential for zen transcendence exists in Boston Celtics forward Jaylen Brown and his personal brand of sisyphean efficiency porn. And the task proved so daunting he hung himself, leaving the novel unfinished. The author David Foster Wallace’s final novel was to be a sprawling interrogation of boredom and the potential for enlightenment that exists in the ability to internalize and accept its purgatory-like state of being. Today, we can have tens of thousands of hours of mediocre unseen content on any number of streaming platforms, (to say nothing of the infinite forms of stimuli beyond watchable content our culture affords us), and still credibly think of ourselves bored. Please support Passion of the Weiss by subscribing to our Patreon.Ībe Beame had a dream he lit up Larry Bird one-on-one.īoredom is a relative term. Legend in two games like we’re Pee Wee Kirkland. ![]()
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